A Travellerspoint blog

This blog is published chronologically. Go straight to the most recent post.

Departure Date Approaches

It seems as my departure date approaches that every facet of my life is escalating to the point of insanity. Everything: women, cars, money, my friends, my artwork, and more, is getting to the point where I just want to say "Fuck it! I'm leaving." Now is that because of coincidence, or because I know that I'm leaving soon? I suppose it doesn't matter much. I'm going either way. Trouble is, I have a nagging and growing feeling that I'll not have enough time or money to go. I just can't stop or curb the constant flow of money away from me. And I've got so much to do before I leave (or, in order to leave). It almost seems like I have two more months to live. I want to wrap it up and tie together all my loose ends. But some will inevitably remain loose.

Posted by VANagain 22:19 Comments (0)

Rainbow's End

Rainbow's End
- Sergio Mendez

Who looks at her life in the palm of her hand
Rain's on the roof, there's tears in the land of heartbreak
She has made up her mind, she won't turn back again
She writes a note, but words just won't say
Turns off the TV, pulls down the shade
She's leaving...
No she won't change her mind
To leave it all behind

Chorus:
Just one more story from a lonely road
A twist of fate and then a spot of gold
Out on the rainbow's end
Just one more chapter in a sad hotel
Another penny to the wishing well
Out on the rainbow's end
Don't you turn back again

Who's playin' cards from midnight 'til dawn
Lives in a waste and yesterday's gone forever
He's made up his mind to leave it all behind
So he says to himself as he folds up his hand
Ooh, will all my friends will understand where
I'm goin'...
To find my own way, I won't turn back again.

- Chorus -

I have a dream that I hold in my heart
And I won't let go
Welcome tomorrow -
I'm on my way. So goodbye yesterday...
Goodbye yesterday

- Chorus -

Posted by VANagain 03:49 Comments (0)

The Cycle

My mom surprised me the other day. After being off work and sitting in her house for three weeks for the healing foot, she had come to an important realization. She realized that her condominium was just a building, four walls that she sleeps and eats in. Once her knickknacks were all bought and in place and the place cleaned and she had come to a stop, she looked around and saw it was nothing to revolve your life around. In fact her house was causing her to have to work her life away. She pays all her bills to keep this house to live in while she goes to work to make money to pay the bills. Do you see the cycle?

I told her I thought this was valuable thinking on her part and that it should give her some insight into what I'm doing on my trip. When I eliminate, or at least reduce, my living costs (rent, heat, electric, phone, water) the cycle is broken. I don't have to work every day to support myself and maintain a lifestyle that is really much more luxurious than I need.

Mom is back to work now. I'll have to see if her "break" influences her life at all.

Stuff

Stuff_s.jpg

The first page in my trip journal is labeled "Stuff." It lists all of my belongings and who I left them with. Click photo to see full-size.

Posted by VANagain 23:27 Comments (6)

This Vast World

"If you are alone, you are your own man."
- Leonardo da Vinci

This vast and glorious world we live in, in its infinite wealth of beauty and wonders, we all live our lives. From time to time I find myself suddenly aware of all this around me, almost as if I have only just now opened my eyes to see it all. And this seemingly endless world is all waiting for those who make the effort to enjoy it, requiring only that we fulfill the needs of our own bodies as payment for admission into this playground. Yet day-to-day living seems to blind us. We grow to be complacent and begin to exist in a tiny world that manages to support only a routine. But when I suddenly see past this and realize all the possibilities, I feel strong— capable of steering my life out of the rut I've created. And I want to yell to my fellow people in hopes of making them realize their inherent freedom. We are all able to take off and discover all that we wish to experience. Yet it seems to me that very few people do this. Is it that they are unaware that they can, or that they really don't wish to make any changes and what they are doing is what they wish?

This flash of awareness I now feel brings a lump to my throat for the great potential for happiness, discovery, sorrow, beauty. I rush to try to convey these feelings to paper for I'm sure to again forget this, or at least fail to notice, and possibly this will be a reminder to myself (and anyone else who may read it).

Posted by VANagain 12:58 Comments (1)

Going Away Party

Today is Monday, July 16, and last Friday was my last day of work at Data Card. The folks from work and I had a going away party on Friday after work at Stonewings on Lake Minnetonka. It gave me a chance to say goodbye and/or live it up with them one last time. If and when I get back to the Twin Cities I'm to look up: John, Kevin, Mickey, Tom, Carolyn, Mary Jo, and most others said to stop in at work to say hi. I told them I would be in to apply for a job, if nothing else. They thought that was funny.

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I'm now living at Dad's (since July 1st). The 1st was to be my departure date, but I had an accident with my Camaro and needed about two weeks' pay to take care of it. I really needed the time anyway to fix the van; for here it is the middle of the month and the van is about the only thing holding me back. I'm getting very tired of living with Dad. Aside from our personality conflicts(?), he has a lot of things he wants me to do that have nothing to do with my trip. Now, I realize he's helped me many, many times with my projects, and it's only fair that I help him with his. But my anxiety builds more each day to be on my way and I find it irritating to do anything that doesn't further my preparations.

I spent my first night in the van last Friday after the party (gotta watch that drinking and driving, ya know) and I awoke to a beautiful morning. Fresh air was coming through the curtains in the window at the head of my bed. I was in a town I'd never really been in (Excelsior) and it was as I imagine it will be on my trip. It felt very good. (Aside from the predictable slight hangover!)

I forgot to mention; so many people at the party wished me good luck and told me I'll have a good time on my trip, that I can't see how I can go wrong!!

Posted by VANagain 02:31 Comments (0)

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