A Travellerspoint blog

What a World

What a marvelous world I live in. I'd have said "we", but, as it's been written by others, I do live in my own world; for no one else exists in a world quite like mine. Although it seems, in retrospect, that I've spent most of my life so far attempting to make my life identical to others', the key to my own peace of mind looks to be in "uniqueness", and making my life more what I like. And very few, if any, of the people I've dealt with have agreed with all of my values. But now I see that other people will never be able to agree or disagree with the real me and my values if they never see me for what I am. And they won't be able to do this if I'm not acting like myself, if I'm acting in contrary to my feelings, which is easy to do. I am the one in my world who decides what's going to happen, which way it's going to go. As long as I can remember this, this will remain true. Sounds simple. Probably isn't.

This wasn't quite what I'd intended to write. I wanted to say: What a wonderful world I live in. The moon shines light on me through the limbs and branches of the trees reaching out for spontaneous misty night clouds. The sky and clouds curve to meet horizon around me, reminding me of the wide world that lies in front of me, requiring only my movement ahead into it to allow it to teach me, to inform me of all that it is. In such a world I would think that I could only be ambitious and optimistic. Yet at times I'm down.

Posted by VANagain 00:18

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I can't really remember exactly when I got the idea of moving into a van and wandering around the US. A couple of older guys from our high school had these two cool Chevy vans that I always liked the look of. But the notion of me heading out into the unknown on my own was surprising to everyone. As a kid I couldn't even sleep over at a friend or relative's house! Too many unknowns. I'm not sure if I figured it out back then but I think the reason I could do this was because most everything was under my control instead of others'. I was totally independent with everything I needed in my little van. And every day I got to decide what I would do next, and I had to face my fears instead of avoiding them.

by VANagain

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